I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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