im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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