I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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