All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I will pee on everything he values.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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