Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
