It's Friday. Sex?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
