this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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