MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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