Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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