I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
