just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
