Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
