i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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