oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
