he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
