We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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