hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
