It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize