Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
