It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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