Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
