Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
