Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
