I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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