So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
