Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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