Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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