It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
