just come out here and I will go home with you...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
