ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
