thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
