my vag is so smooth its legendary
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
