He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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