I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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