He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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