he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
