somebody snuck up and got me drunk
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
