it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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