Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
