Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
