Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
