How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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