She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
