youre lurking in front of me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
