I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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