you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
