You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize