This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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