and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
