apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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