No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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