You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
