4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
