My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
