dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize