Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
