he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
