Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
