Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
either way he was missing a nipple.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
