ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
